BATMOM

Brush Removal

I am still blogging via iPhone. My poor old laptop needs a tune up.

I woke up feeling very weird (the spinning....) and then got sick to my stomach a few hours later. Fun. I felt as if I were foggy and stoned for most of the day... I had to drive with loud music so as not to fall asleep. Chemo side effects... They're so excitingly unpredidtable...

I took some food to Beth and snuck a peek at new baby Zara despite my altered state. Beth was alone and overwhelmed and ready to lose it. I know the insanity of that time (still recovering from it!) And I wanted to help. We've been through a lot together and she has no family on the West Coast. When I left I was feeling better.... It was nice to help someone else instead of vice versa.

Tonight I ended up in a very intense, long overdue, and hard talk with my mom. We sat in her car outside of our house, crying and explaining. I feel that we cleared a lot of dry brush from a dense trail and can see down the path. This is good.

Big day for a fuzzy brain!

Adeline turns 3!

Yesterday Adeline and I drove the path that I had walked the night before I went into labor. I was overdue by 12 days 3 years ago. And we walked to the Kensington Pub to get my mind off the Braxton hicks and get some chow. We passed by a big pink fluffy tree. The "pink pom pom" tree seemed a symbol for the little girl yet to come. All the "pink pom pom" trees are in bloom again. They crack me up. Every one of them seems to be placed to make me smile.

We celebrated with the family tonight. More tomorrow...

Real

4 chemos left. 8 down.

I went into the Batcave last Thursday. The scheduling mishap gave me an extra day to prepare and it was needed.

All went well considering I was close to the breaking point (whatever that is). I was out before I realized i'd been in (despite the 5 hours in the chair).

I feel much better this time than last. I was ready to get out on day 3, although naps were still necessary.

It was a beautiful weekend with loads of sunshine. Sheri took all of the kids on Saturday. And my mom took them on Sunday. I recovered, did laundry and even wrote a little.

The kids continue to be perplexed by my wig. They all forget that it's not my real hair, but suddenly pull on it. It's a new emotional experience every time.

When they remember, they all rejoice in pulling it off (especially Cole).

"Why doesn't it hurt when I do that?" Cole asked confused. He'd accidentally punched me in the face 2 minutes prior, so pain was on his brain.

"It's not my real hair. I'll have my real hair back around Halloween." I told him. "by your birthday," I added,

He got a big smile.

"My birthday is coming. And then Halloween! Cool!"

I was about to tell him that Halloween was farther away than he thought, but realized that I could hardly do time justice in this moment. Besides, he had already moved on to talking costume preferences. The wig had again become real.

Home!

We made it home on Monday night and were very glad to be here!

The kids did dances in every room. Cole went immediately to put on costumes. George went to greet his guys (stuffed animals that had been left behind). Adeline just kept dancing. I think she had almost forgotten home and was now remembering!

Sheri had filled our fridge and made us dinner. What a treat! I felt like dancing, too!

We spent our last night outside of Noodles Arizona. Really.

The drive back was pretty easy... As far as 12 hour drives go. The kids did a great job of entertaining themselves and cracking each other up.

Tom and I were both a little suprised to feel depressed as we turned our supermobile westward. East was away from cancer. West was back to it.

No more fantasyland. Chemo was scheduled for today. Only it wasn't. There was a snaffu and I have it tomorrow. I'm not prepared and feeling shakey. I plan to spend tomorrow morning doing some grounding and prep.

Yesterday, on the way back from karate, George told me that he thought we might be the luckiest family on Earth.

" Why?" I asked, thinking he really doesn't understand my health issues.

"Because we're not homeless, we have everything we need, and we love each other a lot."

...and even if he did understand the medical issues, he would be right. It'd good to be reminded.

Santa Fe 2

We began day two with a visit from the hotel's security. George and Cole jumped wildly from bed to bed, screaming. We tried to shhh them, but made as much noise as they did in the process. Rooms on both sides complained. Oops. We had promised the kids a ride on the vintage Santa Fe train and as the weather report again promised rain, we thought this was the day to do it. Before the train's departure, we visited the children's museum. There was nothing particularly New Mexican about it, but we knew the kids would love it. Here no one would try to quiet them or reign them in. George was nervous that the train would not return to Santa Fe, so we checked with several people, several times. Adeline was afraid we'd miss the train and ran off without me, down the street, to board it. George ran down the cabin excitedly yelling to his siblings that the train was leaving when an old curmudgeon of a man very rudely told him to be quiet. "I'm sorry," I said. "He's very excited." "I don't care. I paid the same price as you did for my ticket." "He's just a boy who loves trains." I didn't know what he meant exactly by the ticket price. "I can survey all the guests in this train and how much they appreciate your kids." I was stunned. The older woman seated by him (presumably his wife) looked away and avoided eye contact with me. The younger woman smiled helplessly. "We've all had kids, but you could't hear mine from the front seat to the backseat." he claimed. "Yours must be the only ones." I said quietly and after glancing again at his poor wife whose eyes were still fixed on the still stationary station out of the window, returned to the safety of my nice husband and awesome father. I wanted to say... "and I'm sure they are very healthy members of soceity now," or as Tom suggested, "I imagine you are not helping them pay for their psychatrist bills." One lady a seat over scolded him. At Lamy (the only stop and was true to its name... Lame-y), we had lunch by the train tracks. Many people came over to tell me how sweet and well-behaved our kids were and how rude the man was. (Thank goodness none of them was a neighbor at La Fonda hotel!)
The train ride was a dull 4 hour excursion for an adult, but the kids were happy. There was again no rain, and Tom and I regretted not making it to the Taos Pueblo. Ah well.
The boys and I visited the pool while Adeline napped and Tom supervised. We also got cowboy/girl costumes courtesy of Babu. We chose the Cowgirl BBQ for dinner and the kids were in heaven. All the staff wore cowboy hats! As we returned to our hotel after dinner, a band was playing. Our two cowboys began to dance up a storm. The crowd turned from the band to the boys, clapping and taking photos. Cole smiled and grooved. George spun and showed his fancy foot work.We had to drag them off to bed.  

Day 3: We visited Taos Pueblo. We were too close to miss it. Cole puked his Cowgirl dinner all over himself as we arrived. We were far from the hotel from which we'd checked out. What do we do? The road was wind-y, and he claimed to feel okay. We went in... deciding that I would come back with him if he felt badly again. The first thing I saw was a white pickup truck with a horse on either side of it. I did a double take and grabbed my camera just in time.  

A young Pueblo Indian in his 20s lead us on a brief tour. He was very interesting in his brandname jeans, hip sweatshirt, and tribal turqoise wide-holed earrings. He was respectful of his elders and the sacred dwellings, but admitted that most of the youth lived outside the pueblo for the convenience of running water and electricity. The pueblo contains the oldest known dwellings in the USA that are still lived in. It dates back before the settlers even came to find the country (between 1000-1400 AD). The Spanish found the "Indians" there in the 1600s. Many of the buildings we saw were original.

 




 

The pueblo is situated at the base of the snow-covered Taos mountains and the red willow (another name for the tribe Red Willow people) runs along the river bank. 

 

The language the tribe speaks is Tiwa, and it is forbidden to record it. It is not a written language. The guests had their cameras tagged. We were to ask permission before taking a person's photograph. Signs in the stores said, "no photography." I didn't take any shots of people. It didn't seem appropriate.

   

 

A high energy, slightly nutty woman from the tribe kept interupting the tour and talking to our guide in Tiwa and English. He handled it gracefully. The woman was quite sweet and hugged Adeline and Adeline's pink frog. I thought Adeline would shun her, but instead allowed herself to be hugged and smiled. Tom took Cole and Adeline to the bathroom and back to the car while George and I took one last look around. It is a remarkable place, and it sounds silly to say. There is so much history and so many things we are not privy to know (sacred rituals and places). I felt like the tourist and foreigner that I was.

Santa Fe

We visited the childhood home of George W Bush in Midland, TX on the 14th. One of the nine houses that the Bush family lived in the Midland area has been turned into a museum. 

   

 

 

The guide was thorough and patient (though slightly nervous with the Clyde kid dancing on newly finished wood floors, as well as the Obama sticker on our Supermobile). Most of the items were replicas of items once owned by the Bush family. The aqua blue Frigidare (very cool) was a donation from Laura Bush's mother who unplugged it from her own kitchen to donate. As we left, the guide handed me a glossy pamphlet on the Petroleum Museum and all its wonders. "The boys will love it. There's a race car." "She's the one that's into race cars," I said pointing to Adeline who was dressed head-to-toe in pink. We drove on and stopped in Roswell, New Mexico to look for UFOs. The Alien Cafe in District 51 stayed open while we toured and took goofy photographs. 

 

 

 

 

 
  

 We found a local, active park with play equipment and a series of baseball games going. I cooked dinner on our camp stove while the kids used up all their human energy and then some. We drove into the night and arrived in Santa Fe before midnight. Santa Fe was a welcome break. We loved our hotel and comfy beds. We loved the adobe setting and the wandering cowboys. We really loved the breakfast staff who delighted in our rambunctious kids and brought them picture after picture to color, pancakes with ears, and performed goofy dances for their enjoyment. Day One: we walked around the town and absorbed the flavor. We found a labyrinth, an Indian street market, a store with animal statues (from which I had to take Adeline kicking and screaming. The purple and black snake was cool. It was also $400).

 

The forecast had more than suggested rain. Afraid that it might rain the following day, we drove to Bandalier National Park outside of Santa Fe. What a good decision! The mile plus walk led to beautiful cliff dwellings. 

 

 
 

The boys were ahead of us, but Adeline perservered and we completed the walk. She has always been a little afraid of heights and half way up the first ladder to the first accessible cliff dwelling, she panicked. I urged her on and put my hands on the rungs above her and told her to place her hands on mine. It worked. We made it up! And she was very, very proud. We high-fived a few times. She found one cave with "beds" for all of us. She climbed into her bed...hole... And said she was going to sleep there. It was naptime after all! 

 

 
 

 

 

 
 
 
 

By the time I convinced her to leave, a long line of people had formed to visit our cave. A man overhearing our negotiations said to his wife, "I truly don't know who is going to win this one." thanks, mister. When we rejoined the boys, the kids were high, telling each other what they had each seen. Adeline was proud to tell her brothers that she had climbed, too. I know that this was a huge day for her and some part of her would always remember this place.  

Bush Country

It's dark in the car with the exception of my iPhone, the dashboard and the occasional flare of a not-to-distant, but suprisingly contained lightening storm. The kids are all asleep with content, stress-free, beautiful faces. Adeline was the last to fall, grumbling and questioning until I finally undid my seatbelt and put my face against hers. She put her arms around my neck (as she does every night) and pulled me forcefully into her. My legs buckled and I fell into her. When I hold up my iPhone to spy on her now, she, too, looks peaceful so the hug must have done the trick. We are within 2 hours of Santa Fe, where we plan to spend 3 nights. Our gut (don't 2 guts become one after marriage and that's why they are called love handles?) tells us that the kids need to not move for a few days. That being said, the kids are being great and having a blast. George does not want to miss one piece of information about the presidents. I think Cole likes sitting right behind us, working on his letters and words and getting our help and approval. Adeline jokes and plays with her brothers... And is competitive as well. She knows the deal (even when you think she mustn't), keeps score, and likes to win. This summer she was a little young to really be a part of the gang, but now she is fully. And while enjoying her (she's a lot of fun), the boys are trying to work out how to deal with her. We spent two nights ago in College Station, TX just off George Bush Drive. In the morning, we gobbled up our breakfast quickly as Fox News was looming over us on a big screen. Gleeful gals with lip gloss gave the rising unemployment numbers. It's not a news station, and I don't think the folks at breakfast knew that. I don't enjoy propaganda with my pancakes. The George HW Bush Library was a pretty nice one. It had tons of videos and limos and airplanes. It had a White House replica in playhouse size that Adeline said was a frog house and once inside with her frogs, refused to leave.  

   

 

My computer is not working and my blogging is on an iPhone, so please excuse the typos (it's hard to change them)!

We are currently in College Station, TX. The snoring and gurggling of my 4 family members are steady and lulling (if you can believe it).

We saw Austin today. After camping at McKinney Falls Park, we visited Lyndon B Johnson's museum and library. Cole and Adeline had a video war. She wanted to watch the video about Johnson's daughters and their Christmas presents, and Cole wanted to watch the one on Vietnam. One would push a video button and the other would override it. A fight ensued.

We had traditional Texas BBQ at Ironworks BBQ shack. Both GW Bush and Obama campaigned there as indicated by their autographed menus and photos side by side. Amusing.

We also managed to make it to the first Whole Foods for supplies, which kind of cracks me up... Whole Foods as a tourist destination for a family from SF Bay Area us just funny. True to teputation, everyone in Austin who we encountered was extremely nice and helpful. As far as I could see, Austin is dominated by friendly adults in their late 20s and 30s who are adorned with tasteful tattoos.

Yesterday, we toured the birthplace and childhood home of LBJ in Stonewall and Johnson City, TX. Purple lupin everywhere. The children were most fixated on the catepillars. Adeline even rejected a look at a secret tunnel (a gap in a nearby wall) because, "I am still looking at the callapitters!" and she lay back down next to them.

Tomorrow, we see George HW Bush's library. I hope also that my computer miraculously works!

Full

The rest of our Disney trip was great. The boys and I headed out early to hit the Abominable Snowman ride before the crowds... Cole was fixated on doing this ride. The early rise and muffins on the run worked! They loved it.

Quickly, we rushed to many of the scary rides that we knew Adeline couldn't do. We did The haunted house in which George asked me in a whisper if it was a long ride. We went on Splash Mountain despite George's trepidation at seeing the final, crazy, wet descent. He said he wouldn't go, but wait, would, but, yes, if Babu (my mom had joined us by now) could so could he. Again he mastered his fear and prepared himself. Cole sat in the first seat he was allowed to sit on which, due to size, ended up being he second with no on in front of him. I couldn't see his face and asked him at the end if he was okay. He leaned back in our log, refusing to get out, and said with a lazy smile, "That was good." The only way we got him out was to promise to do it again. George was more than willing to do it again.

Mom took Adeline on the more gentle rides while Tom and I introduced the boys to Space Mountain and Star Tours. They wanted to ride Space Mountain again and again until Tom was feeling sick.

After our It's A Small World ride, a street dance parade kicked off in front of us. The boys went wild dancing. Even Adeline who was falling asleep on Tom allowed herself to be dragged into the street madness.

We took the poor girl for a nap and let the boys rest too (for five minutes). Then Tom took them to the pirate pool that we could see from our window.

Our friend George Shuput met us for dinner. "Hooray George" the chant began from the kids. George sends them awesome Christmas presents every year and brings treats when they see him. This time was no exception. They love George!

The kids (and Tom) steered coin-operated boats on a pond while we waited for a dinner table. We then rushed to catch the fireworks over the castle before. Our early-to-bed kids lost it. Okay so the fireworks and music and stories were amazing. I tried not to think about the insane amount of money being wasted or pollution being made (no wonder LA is so smoggy!). Adeline said it was too loud but the rest of us were impressed.

We headed for Phoenix midday the following day and finally found a free roadside hotel with one last, crappy room. Fights broke out in the hallway and drunk men got more drunk, but we slept and moved on.

Yesterday we had breakfast at Marriott's Derset Ridge Resort and Spa. My friend Clotilde was the landscape architect for the project. I had heard much about it when it happened and wanted to see it.

As I suspected it was beautifully done. A zen walk of rocks that my children naturally gravitated towards. A natural stream through he property. A pool river for rafts. Pools shaded by those infamous palms (that had to be planted in their maturity which were difficult to come by). Rock walls and ponds and local vegetation... Stunning. The food was good too!

Last night we camped in Aguirre Springs Bational Park, NM. It was a bit out of our way but upon arrival we were glad to make the effort and forego the KOA. The setting, a canyon with snow peaked rock mountains and distant white sands, was spectacular. We chose a campsite that required a walk up hill from the car, but that too was nice and removed us from other campers (except the really loud ones who we could not see but know too much about).

I cooked up an impromptu meal on the stove (we had no drinking water and had to make a random risotto with broth and wine) and happy kids giggled over goofy stories about Tootnem Shootnem and his famous rattlesnake chili.

We explored the area in the morning.Cole moved our camping chairs to a viewing point he liked and invited his brother and sister to join him there with their cereal. Tom had to relocate the chairs with Cole's supervision when Cole's chair collapsed onto George's!

On our way out, we were forced to stop by two bulls in the road. I snapped some photos out of the open window when Tom realized they were bloody. They then locked horns and went at it in the road. We were unable to get around them.

We've seen lighting and a relatively small tornado ripping through the dirt in the distance. It's been a full trip and we have't even seen a President's childhood home!

Tomorrow we see Lyndon B. Johnson's home in Stonewall, TX. Tonight we sleep in Ozona.

Jedi Training

We arrived in Disneyland way ahead of schedule. Tom enjoys overestimating, and I enjoy (or am addicted to) the other. 

He reveled in our early arrival and celebrated by asking for a cocktail to be ordered for him while he checked in. Mom met us in the lobby (she'd flown... 7 hours with 3 kids in the back seat is, apparently, not her idea of a good time!). She took the kids to story time and songs by the giant fireplace in the hotel lobby while I got my man his cocktail... he's not much of a drinker and he'd driven most of the way, so I honored his request right away (and got myself some champagne. Why not?). The kids had been amazing in the car, but still, the drive was long.

Fortunately I'd had half of my glass when I found out we were going to have to move from our hotel. The hotel we were in is steps from the front gate (no monorail, no fuss, easy for nap schedules and burnt out parents and kids) and now we were moving down the street (a crisis for parents of young children with a well thought out plan of action, which any time in Disneyland requires). There was an error made in our reservation and the hotel was beyond capacity. Anyone arriving late (but we weren't as late as we would have been!), was escorted to another hotel. 

Armed with an upgrade to a suite, some perks, buzzed bodies, my handicapped scooter,  very tired children, and all of their stuffed animals, we made our way to Disneyland Resort and away from the Grand Californian. Frankly, the hotel is definitely less posh (no arts and craft, lodge-style decor and large fireplaces), but our huge suite ROCKED! We tried to get the kids to go to bed, but from our balconies was an amazing view of the fireworks. Really, it was the perfect ending to the day and set the tone as a finale before sleep.

We woke up too late for the early entry to the park, but had our breakfast spread (La Farine and yoghurt) in our suite kitchen and made our way to Disneyland's BART (the monorail). The scooter gets us into things pretty quickly and the monorail was no exception. My energy is returning, but no scooter would have made the trip very hard for me (and therefore Tom, Mom, and the kids). 

 

The park was as crowded as I've ever seen it. Spring Break. But the kids were in heaven and didn't mind the waiting too much. In fact, George, remembering the Jedi training from last time, was determined to be picked for the training. It was 80 degrees with no shade, but we waited with him. He was on the first row in the middle because we'd arrived an hour early. Tom had to redirect Cole and Adeline to the rockets, but Babu and stayed with George. 32 kids were chosen but not George. He was sad, bummed, upset for about 2 minutes and then said, "When's the next training?" 

"In a little over an hour," I replied. 

"Okay." he said and turned back to the stage to watch the training and study the techniques so he would be prepared. I applied more sunscreen. George did not take his eyes from the training once to my knowledge.

In the time between trainings, Tom returned and asked the MCs for tips on getting picked.

"Be loud." We were.

"Be on the front row." We were.

"Get a sign." 

Tom took the little ones to get lunch for everyone while Babu and I set about making a sign. She went for markers, which she found in a Tinkerbell sticker packet. She also got light sabers for both boys to help the cause.

While George practiced engaging his light saber to perfection (The dude works!), I wrote on a lunch bag "THE FORCE IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE" and taped it to Cole's light saber with a bandaid.

(Check out my new wig!)

 

 I held the light saber above George with arrows pointing down. The other parents, who were rooting for their own kids, were even helping. Several pointed to George and yelled when the master was choosing trainees. One woman said to her son, "This boy is a very hard worker and very devoted, he will go far."

George was chosen third to last, but he was chosen. Hooray! He was a little scared and very serious and I could see him actively overcoming his own fear... especially when he went on stage solo to fight off Darth Vader. He bowed his head and listen to words of encouragement (I assume) from a Jedi apprentice (title please) and then stood up and walked forward with steel resolve. He engaged his light saber, fought the power of the dark side, and mastered his own fear. I must say that I was in awe of the guy. I saw the truly super in my young super hero. 

When he brought back the diploma, I read it to him. He wanted to fill in his name right away (and not be hugged and coddled). He shook as he wrote. He wanted his middle name 'Knight' on the paper and wanted me to spell it. We wrote on the top of the trash can while Tom and Babu watched. I could feel his heart beating wildly when I touched his hand. 

It was a journey of many emotions for George. I saw him growing up in front of me, on a stage, shining. What a human being he is! I am so honored to be his mommy.

Arrival at the training center and before the work begins:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Mastering the fear:
 
  

Fighting Darth Vader:

 

George is the last one on the right (with his hood up).
 
  

Receiving his diploma:
 
 
 The signing of the diploma on the trash can: